Confessions of a Dumpster Diver

3-16-06 –I picked the kids up at school today. We were talking about our daily adventures. It took me about 15 minutes to convince the kids I had actually been dumpster diving. After we pulled into the driveway I had to show them what I found in the dumpster as proof I wasn’t pulling their legs. I guess it was hard for them to imagine.

The local stone company invited me to go diving in their dumpster for castaway marble and granite I can use as bases for my sculptures and I had the best time. They even came out to meet me when they saw me at their dumpster.  Who knew what fun you could have in a dumpster?

Dumpster diving is so liberating!

3-22-06 –My husband says the best thing he ever found in a dumpster happened when he was 15. It was a book called Modern Sex Techniques. I don’t care who wrote it, I just want to thank whoever threw it away!

8-29-06 –Well, it’s true. I do smell bad, but at least I got some very nice granite pieces to use as bases for my sculpture from dumpster diving this morning. One guy who passed by was very kind to carefully place his garbage into the dumpster so his drink wouldn’t splash on me.

8-30-06 –I went back for more marble and granite and this time I wore my leather gloves. One man’s garbage is another man’s treasure! My finger tips ache from handling the rough edged stone yesterday without gloves…It’s even painful to type this.

These gloves must make me look very, very sexy because while I was standing in the dumpster all sweaty and gross with the smell of garbage juice wafting through the air (you know that smell when it rains on rancid garbage? well, it rained last night). It was in this lovely, romantic setting that some guy tried to pick me up!

Now can you imagine if the girl he tried to pick up in the dumpster actually was single and a marriage resulted, how would they explain the way they met to their families?

8-31-06 –Last night I had trouble sleeping because I was having nightmares about the smell of garbage juice. I got out of bed to wash my hands twice. It’s that bad.

***I remember those nightmares about the smell of garbage juice. It’s actually a term in the urban dictionary. I believe this is how Hell would smell. I couldn’t go back.  If you want a long career as a Dumpster Diver, never go after it rains.

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9 Responses

  1. LOL about “Modern Sex Techniques!” You need a special dumpster diving suit, not just gloves. Maybe like a snorkel and a wet suit. No telling who would try to pick you up though!

  2. lol…I need a serious, OSHA approved gas mask.

  3. I love dumpster diving. One time I pulled a canoe out. It was great.

    Too bad you had to bring up garbage juice though. You’re mention of it was all I needed to start smelling it again.

    Great post!

  4. lol, well then I should better start searching for that dumpster.

  5. Todd, better for your canoe to stink than to sink, right?

    and amina, Oh no! we’ve created a monster! hehe

  6. Awesome blog. Mmm garbage juice. What did the guy who tried to pick you up say? “Want to go dumpster humping?”

  7. Kim, you kill me.

    Hey, I just realized that I have a dumpster of my own! It’s the smallest dumpster you can lease so it’s real easy to dive, you can just reach in. But…all the stuff in it is stuff that I put in it so I don’t dive it. Some of the stuff I’ve put in I’ve pulled out of other dumpsters.

    Oh well, may others have fun.

  8. I hope the rats didn’t scare you.

  9. todd, that sounds like valuable garbage! my friend, who is asseblage artist, spends lots of time rifling through and arranging garbage. People buy her work.

    Grant, only the rats who use pickup lines like Matt’s scare me!! :P~

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